The most humbling thing that’s ever happened to me is someone thinking it’s more likely that I am writing Sesame Street MPreg and than me having sex in real life.
just had the weirdest interaction. this off-leash Yorkshire Terrier wobbled up to sniff my ankle, and then its owner said “the vet wanted to euthanize her”
and I was like “……oh”
and she said “4 years ago. she had a stroke, but I went to church and prayed to the Virgin Mary, and now she can walk again. but sometimes she drops, which is why I have this stroller”
and I was like “oh, okay.” I didn’t know what to say after that, so I was just like “it’s a cool dog” and kept walking
there is nothing, and i mean Nothing, a kid loves more than being asked “what do you know about dragons.” if you’re stuck with a kid between the ages of four and nine ask them about dragons and you will have them going for at least an hour. nod sagely as they tell you that red dragons breathe fire and blue dragons breathe ice. take notes. depending on the kid you could replace this with fairies, mermaids, etc. but dragons is usually a safe bet.
Frodo: Sam hates Gollum, but that is what I shall become once I have lost myself to the ring… he’ll despise me…
Sam if Frodo did turn into a Gollum: That’s a very nice fish you caught with your bare hands, Mr. Frodo, and its very smart of you to eat it raw, saves us the trouble of starting a fire. I knitted you a sweater in case you get cold running around in that loincloth of yours. Is the sun hurting your eyes? I’ll kill it if it’s bothering you. I’ll kill the sun
Before I get into what just happened to me, can I just say how insane it is that even in 2023 there are vending machines that just drop a bottle of soda 5 feet onto the floor before you can drink it? A ludicrous design flaw
