Emily ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ 24 ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ Cis Female ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ Ambiguously but Merrily Sexual in Most Directions ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ From the internet ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ Cluelessly stubborn ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ Basically unoffendable ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ Hello friends and notfriends
haha! have fun at highschool today NERDS. i’m gonna be doing cool ADULT stuff like sleeping WHENEVER i want and CRYING
i’m in tears
ARE THEY SERIOUS ANYMORE WHAT TH FUCK
if this is real im never using any other pokemon again. bring on the gear god
instead of being called “Mega Klinklang”, this Pokemon shall simply be known as “ALMIGHTY GEARFUCKER”, capital letters mandatory
magnemites and digletts everywhere screaming in jealousy
this is fake
this is fake
- this is fake
- this is fake
- this is fake
you are all really gullible go home
the creator has even talked about it being fake
ok so I know I haven’t been on but this is funny to me so I’m putting it here
a little story brought to you by adventures with the same boss who “took away my internet privileges” at work by deleting the desktop shortcut to IE:
Background: I keep a dish of candies in my office because a lot of our members here have kids so when they come to talk to her there are kids running all over the place and I’ve found if they know that being quiet is going to get them a candy they’re much better behaved (plus I just like kids and love that I get to be “the secretary with a candy bowl” now - adulthood goals etc). Kids being kids, word got around that “the secretary has candy” so about once a day I have a group of ‘regulars’ who stop in to tell me about kid stuff and mostly to beg a few candies off me. She’d previously made a few joking comments a la “you and your darn candy bringing all these kids in here LOL!” or about how it was bad for her figure because she kept getting into the candies too. But it was never anything super serious, just sort of “you and your darn candy you gotta stop that haha!”
So a couple weeks ago, maybe a few, she started on yet another ‘diet’ and was in a pissy Diet-Coke-and-fast-food-withdrawal mood by that afternoon. As usual, my little group comes by and takes away their daily haul, and the door’s only barely shut behind them when she snaps at me like “EMILY I thought we TALKED about those DUMB CANDIES and how you WOULDN’T BE GIVING THEM OUT ANYMORE. >:|” and I’m just like “Oh, sorry? :S I thought that was joking around?” especially since literally the day before I’d just bought some new ones and she’d seen me putting them into the dish and just commented all sweetness and light like “oooh, new candies? :D”
Anyway I’m just sitting there like “?????” and she’s all “NO it was not kidding we TALKED ABOUT THIS you can’t keep having kids STOMPING THROUGH HERE while we’re open…!!!”
Whatever, I put the dish up in my cabinet - no sweat, just a fun thing I liked to do for the kids but it really isn’t a huge loss for me. Next time the regulars come through, she’s away, but I stick to her word and tell them, “Sorry, [boss] says I can’t just give out candies anymore. If you’re in here with your parents you can probably have one, but you can’t just come in here for them anymore.” They’re all shocked and whiney and “but that’s not fair” but, sorry kiddos. No can do.
They come by a few more times, all of them she’s away from the Office. A few times, one who’s semi-distantly related to her tries to pull the “nah [boss] told me I could have one if I wanted to!” But I’m like “eeh, nice try, but no” and send them off.
SO TODAY: the kids come in again, including the little relative of the boss, and I tell them again “Sorry, you know the new status quo. Only if you’re in with parents because they need to talk to [boss], guys.” Well this is the first time since she made the new rule that she’s actually been in the Office when they showed up, so they all go over to her to start contesting the verdict with her. She splutters and natters and tries to put it on me in a roundabout way (“Emily doesn’t like being bothered all the time”), etc… Totally can’t back up her arbitrary meanness from a few weeks ago, but stands behind it anyway.
They leave, and she’s all “thanks a LOT for blaming this on me…… :T” and I’m just like “well it was your rule? :o” and she’s like “hm :/”
lady plz, reap what you sow, it can’t ALL be my fault haha